My Last Name

I've lived in America for over 10 years and I've only met a handful of people who can pronounce my last name, Nguyen. The American pronunciation is "win", while the actual pronunciation is completely different (I don't know how to sound it out via word). It's estimated that about 40% of Vietnamese people have this last name, making Nguyen the most common surname among Vietnamese people. I was curious as to what my last name actually means, so I did a little research on it. It turns out that Nguyen is the name of a royal dynasty- the Nguyen Dynasty, which was the last ruling family of Vietnam. During its rule, this Dynasty awarded many people with the last name Nguyen. Also, many criminals during the time changed their last names to Nguyen in order to avoid prosecution. For these reasons, Nguyen became an extremely popular surname. The etymology of Nguyen is vague. The name is derived from a similar Chinese surname, and the name is believed to mean "original" or "first," but it's unclear whether this is actually true or not. If my surname does mean that, I can only imagine how it came to be. Was Nguyen the first surname in Southeast Asia? Who knows. But even if I don't know what my last name means, it still connects me to millions of people worldwide, and that's pretty sweet.

Cheese

If you've ever listened to me talk, you would know that I use some very odd terms, and I use them often. My English is unlike anyone else's English because I have the tendency to change the meaning of words. I personalize my words, using them in the completely wrong context, and yet it still makes sense. For example, one of my favorite words is "cheese." When you think of cheese, you probably think of this. But when I say cheese, I use it to mean "BS." Let me show you what I mean.
If someone says a lie to me, and I know that they're lying, I would say, "That's some cheese."
If something doesn't go as I planned it, I would say, "This is some cheese."
If someone is writing whatever he can think of just to fill up a blog post, that person would be "cheesing."
"Cheese" can pretty much be used in any context I want to use it in. It can be a noun, a verb, whatever. I have many words like this, and they are primarily used in order to replace words that I don't like to say or thoughts that have no words to describe. My friends find my terms humorous, but I'm being dead serious when I use them. I don't know how I come up with them; I guess I just have a naturally ability to cheese up words and phrases and have them make logical sense.

The Evolution of Language and Why Modern English is Incomprehensible

Language evolves. We can only imagine where it originated from, but we do know that it takes many forms and it has changed significantly over time (just like the evolution of life!). Way back in the old days, the primary language used by the rich and "intelligent" guys was Latin. Although Latin wasn't the first language created, it was one of the first that was somewhat universally shared. Latin's dominance began roughly around 75 BC, and it remained at the zenith until about 900 AD. Its demise led to the creation of its descendants- the Romantic Languages. The Romantic Languages came from Europe, and they gradually made their way throughout the world. These languages have influenced many societies and are still commonly used today.

The death of Latin gave way for other languages to step up and take the role as the universal language. Since Latin was too hard to comprehend, it was replaced by the even more complex and confusing language of English, derived from the Germanic language. Since its takeover, traditional English has evolved greatly as well. When English made its way to the Americas, it became almost an entirely new language. The Americans made all of these rules and exceptions for "proper" grammatical structure, making the language the huge organized mess that it is today.

Nowadays, American English is complete chaos. The proper way of grammatical structure and speech still exists, but nobody knows anything about it. Instead of following the rules, people just make up slang, which will also evolve over time. Generation after generation of slang will create a subspecies of the American English language, one that is only understandable by certain people. For example, the ghetto community of America have devised such an intricate system of slang that even I cannot comprehend. Technically, we're still speaking the same language, but the language has evolved so much that it is only coherent to a select few.

As with most things, evolution in language is unavoidable. Language changes to better fit the intellect of the people speaking it. Back then, people were smart, so they spoke a language that was organized and formulaic. Everyone understood one another, and communication was easy. Now, because there are still smart people and a new population of "unsmart" people, language has been divided into two. Those of intellect like me and you have our own language that allows us to speak like normal and civilized human beings. Those not of intellect have made adaptations to their language to better suit their intellectual capabilities, thus creating a language that is constantly changing and never comprehensible. 

Language will never stop evolving, but at this rate, we're soon to be better off not speaking at all. Other countries like those in Asia and Europe have it all figured out. Their systems of language follow patterns, making communication much easier. But for some reason, American English just can't get it quite right.